Christmas Eve...

and my heart is full of conflicting emotions.  While I am thrilled and happy that it is once again Christmas, my heart aches for family and friends who are no longer with us this year.

I suppose that is the way it is every year, but it seems to be a stark reality more than ever this year.  Perhaps because it came so close to home this year with the loss of my brother in law, or the fact that as we age we notice these things more.  I am sure being on Facebook gives us insight into others sorrow more than we would have noticed otherwise.  Friends who have lost a loved one just in the past weeks or days breaks my heart.  Their sadness and emptiness does not end just because the service ends and we all go home to our lives. This Christmas is the first one two of my friends will face without their mom, another lost her dad last month, my husband's uncle passed away on Sunday and I saw this morning that a classmate from school lost her dad last night.  Another sweet friend is missing her baby this Christmas.

All my feelings are not sad however.  My heart is also full of joy and love for the promise of our first grandchild, due in May!  Tomorrow we find out if we will be snuggling a little boy or little girl!  I have been asked so often which I want.  I truly do not care which it is.  Either will be the light of my life!  My son and his beautiful wife are giving us a gift no other can give us, a grand baby!  Our family is already giddy with excitement just knowing that.  Hold on to your hats when we learn what they are having!  I have forced myself to walk through the baby departments at the stores.  That will soon end! 

I keep thinking, "This time next Christmas!"  He/she will be 7 months old and it will be the most fun we have had in so many years.  While we all love Christmas, it is for children.  Imagine seeing it once again through the eyes of a child.  There is something almost magical about the season when shared with a child.  Everything takes on a special feeling.  The lights are brighter, the music sweeter and the love deeper. 

That brings me back to those who we miss and long to see again.  They live through the children that come after them.  How I wish they could see this new baby, perhaps they can.  But when we hold it for the first time, we will holding generations of love.  We will see them in this babies smile and eyes.

That is another thing about Christmas.  The most important part.  We will teach this child about Jesus. We will sing the songs of Christmas.  Away in a Manger, Silent Night, Do You Hear What I Hear.  We will sit through the Christmas pageants God willing, and watch our grandchild portray a shepherd, a Wise man or perhaps an angel or even Mary.  We will read the Christmas story from the Book of Luke.  Again, generations and traditions relived.

 How could you go through life not knowing the promise fulfilled on that night, whether it was a December night doesn't matter. What matters is that He is the Messiah.  The prophets foretold His coming.  He was born of a virgin, He lived and died that we might have eternal life and isn't that the greatest gift of all?  That is what assures us that we will be reunited with those we have loved and lost.
 
Isaiah 9:6, 7

Merry Christmas.